An Unknown
Last night I spent the night with the man that I love. We met practically halfway between our locations and spent one great night together. It was the first time we have seen each other since we both moved away. It was the first time we had been together in a very long time. We started out just playing for a while, before being together. Then he awoke me at 5:30 this morning and made love to me, before going back to sleep. I woke him at 9:30 by pleasing him, and saying "Good morning". We had a great night together. I told him that I didn't want him to leave me. He told me that he needed time. It ripped my heart out. I love him so very much. Every morning when I wake up I send him a text message saying "good morning" and before I go to sleep every night, I send one that saying "goodnight". I've been crying now for the better part of 10 1/2 hours. I know that I hurt him in the past, and I was foolish and stupid. I want him to give me the chance to show him that I do love him and put him before all else. He is my best friend and my rock. I wasn't ready to receive the love he wanted to give me at the time and just to blind to see that he is my life. Now, I am stuck with the strong possibility that I will never have him. That I am now doomed to be one of those "empty shell people you see walking around and you wonder 'what the hell happened to this person'". I dont want to be that. I send him a text message now and get no response, and that hurts me like nothing else. Without him, my very soul weeps. I don't even want to perform the necessary tasks to sustain life. I didn't want to take a shower and wash his touch off my body...I didn't want to wash my hair and wash away his fingers running through it as he kissed me. I have no appetite. All I want is for him to give us a shot now that I know I can give it all that I have and more. I want him to let me love him...to cherish him...to take care of him. I love him more than words can describe. He is my everything. His picture is what graces my blog page.
